How to get out of the friend zone

Written By Bakes

Avid writer on Men's Hair, Grooming, and Lifestyle!

Ahh the friendzone! A dreadful reality amongst many men who have been placed in this category for a multitude of reasons which we are going to investigate. The decision to place you in the friendzone is usually made by the female which immediately stops all hopes of romance, intimacy, and sex! Which has men constantly searching for the solution on how to get out of the friend zone!

It’s a hard pill to swallow but essentially once placed in the friendzone the female counterpart is communicating her disinterest towards you romantically and subconsciously believes your not in her league.


What is the Friendzone?

The term friendzone refers to a state in which an individual’s feelings begin to develop romantically towards another. These same romantic feelings are not felt by the other person which destroy any romantic notions and possibilities.

Usually the person who doesn’t have the same romantic desire or feelings is happy to maintain a friendship bound relationship resulting in frustration for the other party involved. 

In most cases this situation leads to an uncomfortable conversation where the uninterested individual emphasizes the intentions of wanting to keep the relationship only as friends, hence the term “I only see you as a friend “😒


Why you’ve been put in the friend zone

Before we detail how to get out of the friend zone its best we examine some of the most common reasons as to why you were placed there in the first place.

Essentially the reason you have been friend zoned is for one of the reasons below.

  • She’s not interested (Lack of attraction)
  • Bad timing
  • No chemistry
  • Your too available
  • You lack Confidence
  • You’re her “girlfriend”
  • You put her on a pedestal

As men our nature involves seeking out attractive women to sleep with which when stopped can be a frustrating experience, therefore, the above reasons as to why your being friend zoned should be an eye opener! We know you’ve done one of these or the majority otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this.

Being friend zoned is not the end of the world and were going to show you how to turn your fate around and improve your experience with women.

The flip side of this is that some men intentionally become “friends” with women in hopes of one day being able to change the friendship into an intimate relationship. While this can be successful it’s a flawed strategy and one which could have you in the friendzone for years which HOPEFULLY works in your favor. Don’t go down this route!


How to get out of the friend zone


Stop being her Girlfriend

How to get out the friend zone

Up until the point of you expressing your feelings towards her, her perception of you is exactly how she views her female friends. Your apart of her friendship group which is why she views you as a friend only. This typically happens when guys don’t make their intentions clear through communication, body language, have lack of seduction & confidence.

Solution: Moving forward you need to value your nonsexual attention, in other words limit time you spend with her doing activities she could do with her female friends such as trips into the city, coffee shops, restaurants & shopping etc.

Don’t be the guy she calls when she’s complaining about a guy she likes! Be the guy she’s complaining about!

To quote Rollo Tomasi, Author of The Rational Male

“Women have girlfriends, and boyfriends, if you aren’t banging, you are her girlfriend”


Stop putting her on a Pedestal

Most men make the mistake of putting women on a pedestal by constantly calling & texting, over complimenting, doing favours and being at there beck and call at any given time.

Gentlemen, this is why your being friend zoned! You’re being the nice guy!

That doesn’t mean you need to be rude to her moving forward but you need to develop balls!

Your current mindset and demeanour can be sensed by her which is “I’d be lucky to have her, pick me “. This needs to change so she starts believing “I’d be lucky to have him”

This can only happen when you start to man up! Get used to saying no, put yourself first, act as a man that has choices, become the decision maker & stop seeking her validation.


Create Social Proof

Creating social proof for yourself will mean going out there, dating other people and living a social life of abundance which is going to grab her attention. Use your social media platforms to showcase this, but don’t overdo it!

Women are hardwired to seek out high value men with social status, confidence, looks, and those who embody an abundance mindset.

As you begin transitioning from being her “girlfriend” to being a man dating and living his life this will usually create some form of jealousy as she begins to 2nd guess her decision of friend zoning you! Her behavior will begin to change as she begins to see what she’s missing.

It’s important to remember: Keep communication with her to a minimum and maintain a masculine frame. Most importantly if this fails it does not matter as you will be creating an abundance mindset!


Make yourself more attractive

One of the main reasons for being friend zoned is due to a clear lack of attractiveness towards an individual.  

Now we understand attractiveness is subjective and their opinion of how you look should not become your reality.

Solution: If you find yourself in this position its best to start taking care of yourself which means visiting the gym, improving your fashion, improving your facial skin and teeth, using scents to grab attention and most importantly developing confidence and a masculine frame.

Remember – By Doing everything within your control to become more attractive doesn’t necessarily guarantee her mind will change, therefore ensure you put yourself first and have no expectations. You cannot change your face, so either she likes you or not!



get out of friend zone

If your wondering how to get out of the friend zone then self-improvement is a great strategy, reason being, it’s a win-win situation. We explain how in the 2 scenarios below

Scenario 1 – You self-improve by developing a better body in the gym, start to add a self-care routine to improve your looks & change your style! Through hard work this should signal to the person of interest an improved confidence and value which can influence them to view you romantically.

Scenario 2 – You self-improve yourself, but the person of interest still does not find you attractive, that’s ok! With your new body, looks and style its only a matter of time until someone notices!

Not only is self-improvement necessary to get out of the friendzone but it’s your number 1 asset when attracting desirable women! This new sense of confidence will give you a masculine demeanor which in turn will bring you results!


Intentionally take yourself out of the Friendzone (Abundance Mindset)

Having an abundance mindset when being friend zoned is ultimately the best decision you can make for yourself.

  1. It indicates self-awareness as you accept reality and an ability to understand that not every woman you encounter is going to find you attractive, once this is understood your able to move on gracefully.
  2. Your able to see an abundance of opportunity to meet other women who may find you attractive and connect with.

Once the abundance mindset has been adopted you will be able to place yourself in positions to meet new people. This could come in the form of sliding into dm’s, improving your social life, visiting new bars, joining a gym, attending classes based on your hobbies etc. The opportunities are endless!

These are states of being proactive which will benefit you in the long run as opposed to hoping someone likes you who clearly is not interested, that’s being reactive and a recipe for self-pity, frustration, and sorrow.

Learning from your past mistakes will be the best lesson and moving forward will be easier for you with the knowledge of how to avoid the friend zone.

Taking yourself out of the friendzone is you taking back the power! Having an abundant mindset is the best solution to your problem!


Conclusion & how to handle the friendzone moving forward

Now that you know how to get out of the friend zone it should be incumbent upon you to learn from your mistakes and apply these strategies for an improved dating life.

Within this article we used the term abundance multiple times and for good reason! Developing an abundance mindset is the ONLY answer you will need to never enter a friendzone while living life on your terms!

When you get into a similar situation your able to identify it quickly and move on!

Put yourself first, do the self-improvement, be proactive, stop putting her on a pedestal, stop being her girlfriend, and most importantly develop an abundance mindset! 

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