Let’s face it, with social media now a part of our daily lives and routines it should come as no surprise as to how popular the dms have become. People slide into dms for all kind of reasons such as networking, dating and to hook up. Though it has become the norm to slide into the dm there’s a right way to go about it and a wrong way which is why I will show you how to slide into dms for the best results.
But firstly what does it mean to slide into dms?
In culture the dm refers to direct message, therefore sliding into dms is the act of sending someone a private message to their social media account. Comprende? Good!
Now let’s make 1 thing clear from the start, though you will have the opportunity to dm almost anybody with a social media profile/page always remember they are not obliged to reply back! So regardless to the tips you receive here keep that in mind, always!
This write up has been broken into 2 sections with the first being how to slide into dms and the second being the things you don’t do, with gif images to better elaborate the point. Let’s get into it.
How to slide into DM’s
Just do it!
Simply be yourself & use any one of these
1. Ask them a question
Nothing complicated about asking a question right? Exactly! You’re going to want to be yourself and act how you would if you were in front of that person. It could be a question about a post you saw on their page or a certain area they visit frequently.
2. Make a light hearted Joke
Scroll the persons page and try to find something to joke about, and when I mean joke that means nothing that will offend them however something that will spark a conversation flow.
3. Pay a compliment
Don’t over compliment! I’ll get into that later, however, by paying a compliment you are displaying interest and who doesn’t like a compliment. This is enough to start conversation and possibly get a compliment back.
Gifs Below how to slide into dms examples
Remember you only get one chance to make a 1st impression so make it a good one without all the added pressure and over thinking.
Were all guilty of over thinking at points which most of the time leads to procrastination, doubt and in the context of thinking whether to dm a person, saying no for them
Now what do I mean “saying no for them?” When we over think we rationalize and predict what their response could be, convince ourselves of a failed outcome which results into never messaging them.
So stop over thinking and trying to predict an outcome, you can’t! Just do it!
Reply to their story
Facebook, snapchat and Instagram have stories in which people use to upload snippets of their daily lives without actually having to upload it as a post.
Therefore this is a great opportunity to slide into the DM as there is an option to respond to the story which then opens a conversation in the dm automatically.
Once a person has uploaded a story, view it and react by sending an emoji or commenting on the story! This should then be enough to get a conversation started. Simple right? Exactly
Speak on common interest, friend or place
Prior to sliding in the DM take the time to check out their page and see whether you have any similar interest, friends in common or places you both visit.
Ultimately all the above are acting as ice breakers.
2 people that have never met before will be able to speak on a common interest such as music, fashion, sport, travel or anything else for hours as there both passionate about it. Therefore use this to your advantage and let your interest show.
Friends in common? Great. This will allow the person to be less on guard and more comfortable to speak
Lastly do they seem to visit a certain area frequently? Then you could make a suggestion for them to visit the new restaurant in town, activity to do or the best local farmers market, because you know, you saw they like farmers markets! 😉
Comment on one of their posts
Remember the DM is private ,however their posts will be public and for everyone to see, like and comment so if you’re going to take this route then you’re going to want to keep things cool and not look to thirsty.
Best thing to do is ask a question in response to a post, enough to spark conversation which might require some detail. Most people don’t want to have a full blown conversation on an Instagram post which therefore could see the conversation leading to the DM.
How not to slide in dms
Now that we have looked into how to slide into dms lets take a long into how not to do it -_-
Don’t double Text
Sliding in the dm’s is about sending a message and then waiting for a response, if they get back to you great, if not, move on. Simple
Double texting anyone in the dms is only going to come across as desperate and you don’t want that.
Therefore send the message and chill out! Trust me they got it, and if they want to reply they will, and remember there not obliged to respond under any circumstances
No Cheesy Pick up Lines
If you’re going to use cheesy pick up lines you run the risk of being laughed at, ignored and coming across as corny.
So it’s best to keep things simple, as I mentioned before you want to say things in the dm you typically would say face to face.
Not many people in real life are going to say “Are you cake? Cause I want a piece of that”
Don’t over compliment
Too many compliments may come across as fake, insecure or desperate so with that being said you’re going to want to ensure that you don’t overdo it.
Most importantly don’t expect compliments back, if you get one great, if not that’s cool too.
You can think of a compliment as a gift in which once given you should not expect any return as the whole idea of the gift was the thought behind it without expectations.
As you’re in the dms 1 or 2 compliments is enough and as you begin to get to know the individual, bond and build rapport it will be more acceptable. However they don’t know you yet so keep it to a minimum for now.
Don’t be creepy
Imagine your minding your business, in your social feed when all of a sudden a direct message appears from someone you have never met, has a dodgy profile image, with the opening lines
“Hey, I’ve been watching your page for a while, would love if you sent me more pictures, your hot “
Comes across creepy right? That should prove my point!
However that’s easily avoided by having a real photo of yourself, not sounding forceful, desperate and taking the hint if the other person is not interested! Fail to do those and you’re going to come across as a persistent creep with your page being reported.
The End Goal (Conclusion)
So hopefully this should give you more of a guide line on how to slide into dms the right way.
The goal should be to take the Conversation Offline ASAP by which you and the other party exchange numbers.
Remember the DM is not a dating app so treat as an opportunity to be social as it is “social media “
A lot of people will find it hard to tell you to leave them alone so if you notice there’s no flow to the conversation and the person clearly is not engaging move on, as its clear this person is displaying low interest.
High interest is of course the opposite to this in which the person is matching your energy through text, replies when they can, asks you questions and is happy to get to know you more.
Now slide into those dms the right way! 😉
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