How to talk to Girls on Tinder

Written By Bakes

Avid writer on Men's Hair, Grooming, and Lifestyle!

Men experience many problems using dating apps with the most common being no matches on tinder, ghosting or low interest. So to pose the question on how to talk to girls on tinder suggests you’ve already matched and want to place yourself in the best position for a date.

This is a great question to ask yourself as it’s an indicator of wanting to do things right, improve your social intelligence but most importantly have dating success. You’re in the right place as we will detail the steps you will need to take on how to talk to girls on Tinder. More importantly we will also show you what not to do or say and our reasons to avoid these errors.

If there’s one thing we intuitively understand as men it’s that getting a match on tinder doesn’t mean anything, similarly to a number close. In the past it meant something, however today women are constantly sought after making it slightly harder for men. Therefore once we match we need to say the right things to ensure a date!

Remember, women fall in love with their ears and men fall in love with our eyes, which is why women dress sexy and men have to master the art of conversation. So make sure you say the right thing, here’s how!


How to Talk to Girls on Tinder (6 Tips)


1.Read her Bio & Tailor your message

Reading her bio means you took time out to actually separate yourself from the constant “ hi “ or “ sexy “ messages she gets all day long.

This small attention to detail actually works in your favour as it allows you to create a conversation based on what she’s communicating out to the world! It also allows you to demonstrate your wittiness and charisma. For example let’s say her tinder bio says

“Looking for a date to take to my sister’s wedding”

Your opening should be something witty and funny for example “I guess that way we get to skip all the small talk and I’ll meet your parents to announce our big news!

Why does this work? It lends to the imagination and creates anticipation for what the big news is! This opener has a higher response rate than a plain boring “hi”. We’re not saying hi doesn’t work but were focusing on the probability as opposed to possibility.

For most women romance starts in the mind not the bedroom which is evident by the millions of sales in romance novels yearly. Get her mind then you’ll get her body!


2. Make it intriguing

Intriguing messages get the person engaged and want to know more about you! If your own tinder the reality is you’re competing for her attention so you’re going to want to make sure that once you’re in the playing ground she has a reason to keep coming back to your conversation.

An intriguing message that gets her involved has a way higher response rate than a boring hello as we said above. Here’s what we mean by intriguing, create a multiple choice question which involves the pair of you going on a date for example,

A – Hiking for our first date

B- Drinks at the bar

C – Pottery Class in town

What this does is it asserts authority in a respectable manner while giving the person choice! She’s likely to pick an option and then give you reasons why she picked a b or c because you know women love to talk or she may pick them all. You get the point, it’s all about getting her engaged as quickly as possible. Make sure your lightly flirt too!


3. Don’t say anything, Let your pictures do the talking

You’ve heard the saying, a picture says a thousand words & there’s truth to that! Here’s what we mean. If your profile pictures on Tinder make you look cool, sexy, interesting and exciting she’s more likely going to ask you questions. Multiple ideas are conveyed by an interesting still image and she wants to know about it so she’ll comment or ask.

Yes I know shocker right, women making the first move! Well it’s becoming more common for women to do so but in order to experience this you have to be intentional about the pictures you place on your profile. Think to yourself what’s more likely to get a woman intrigued, a photo of you and your friends acting silly or a holiday photo of you pool side looking cool? Exactly!

Women have mastered this because they know men are visual which is why there able to position the camera to capture the best facial angles, skin tone & figure!

So with that being said take better photos of the more interesting aspects of your life!


4. Use proper grammar and be concise

Have you had to read a text message from a friend that included bad grammar which put you off? Now imagine an attractive woman on a dating app having to read your poor grammar. She’s more than likely just going to move on.

You need to assume and understand that attention spans on dating apps are short, therefore don’t place yourself out of the running because of your grammar.

The reality is most women can forgive poor grammar or not care about it but it’s our job to ensure we limit any possible deterrents from the interaction! Feel free to also demonstrate good vocabulary but nothing over the top buddy! She doesn’t care about your pocket size dictionary. 

Read it over before you send, simple!


5. Position your conversation towards a date immediately

As we have mentioned throughout this editorial women on dating apps are constantly being sought after by men of all shapes, colours and sizes. She’s constantly being bombarded with attention and time wasters & by time wasters we mean men not knowing what they want!

Men often time forget that confidence is an attractive trait to have which women love, therefore your conversational tone should demonstrate that! Dictate where the conversation goes based on her interest level, let her know where you will be taking her on your first date if she passes the small talk test!

Remember your number 1 goal is to take the interaction offline immediately or to get her number to start having phone calls to build a rapport.


6. Relax and have Fun

Dating should be just that, fun! So don’t overcomplicate it. Analysis paralysis often times leads us into making cheesy jokes trying to impress or coming across awkward. As a rule of thumb keep the conversation online as a reflection of what you would say to her offline!

If you were meeting offline for the first time you would be respectful, charismatic and charming! Do that! We all know women love it so do it.

There’s not need to over think the situation this early on, its just 2 adults conversating, figuring out whether they are a suitable match or not!



How NOT to talk to Girls on Tinder (4 Tips)

While we understand that you’re looking for tips on how to talk to girls on tinder, it’s equally as important to understand the things you should avoid saying during your online conversation.

As the saying goes “a wise man learns from his mistakes, a wiser man learns from the mistakes of others”

The mistakes below have been made by many men so grant yourself lucky that you can view what not to do!


1. Don’t send sexually motivated messages

Without knowing a person or having built a rapport sending sexual messages will get you unmatched quicker than the speed of light. Why is that? Common sense stupid! It makes you look thirsty and only caring about one thing, sex!

Yes dating apps are synonymous with hook up culture, however you will have to create comfort and trust between you and the other party before anything sexual can happen.

If you don’t listen to us fine, that’s you screenshotted in her WhatsApp friendship group and deleted! Play it cool buddy!



2. Avoid over complimenting

We previously wrote about not over complimenting in our how to slide into dms post in which we explained

“Too many compliments may come across as fake, insecure or desperate so with that being said you’re going to want to ensure that you don’t overdo it.

Most importantly don’t expect compliments back, if you get one great, if not that’s cool too.

You can think of a compliment as a gift in which once given you should not expect any return as the whole idea of the gift was the thought behind it without expectations.”

While this was written from the perspective of sliding in her Instagram DM’s it also applies to her Tinder messages.



3. Avoid the boring stuff (Politics etc.)

This doesn’t necessary need to be politics but can be any subject matter in which she doesn’t seem to be interested in, sports, cars, gaming or any other manly point of interest. Some may ask how you can tell if she’s not interested, simple, gage her response rate and length.

For everything that excites you does she reply with a 1 liner? Then you’re boring her! I mean I’d like to believe this is common sense but it’s worth the mention. We know someone out there is making this mistake right now and it hurts to think about!



4. Stop Double Texting (Identify low interest and move on)

If there’s one thing we want you to take away from our How to talk to Girls on Tinder editorial it’s this! Do NOT under circumstances double text.

Nothing reeks desperation more than a man double texting a woman over the internet! I’ll let you in on small secret, she got your message but for whatever reason has chosen not to reply!

All jokes aside rejection is part of the game for us men, never take it personal. Maybe a better option came around or somebody who lives closer and someone more attractive, the reason is irrelevant. All you can do in that scenario is move on. This is the definition of an abundant mindset.

To quote our editorial How to get out of the friend zone

Once the abundance mindset has been adopted you will be able to place yourself in positions to meet new people. This comes in the form of accepting your loss and moving on by continuing your swiping, broadening your radius search, improving your pictures, downloading other dating apps or using real life scenarios to meet women such as the gym or classes based on your hobbies.

While most men aren’t comfortable with doing this in person we still have the list the opportunity as an option! We advise using both tinder and in person to date! Increase the probability this way.



Mastering the Art of Conversation (Summary)

Now that we have demonstrated the best ways how to talk to Girls on tinder this should drastically increase your dating chances. With that said we want to ensure that you understand tinder only being the first phase in your interaction with her, should the online exchange go well this will more than likely lead to a date and that requires you to back up your words.

This is where the art of conversation comes into play, and most men initially think it’s about talking a woman’s ear off and while you will need to be able to communicate confidently it’s more about listening.

Make it a habit to listen more than you talk, this is the secret to being a great with girls. Ensure you not only listen to her words but her body language. She doesn’t want to tell you anything, rather for you to understand social cues and subtle gestures.

This is why we emphasized taking the time out to speak on the phone and build a rapport, to understand her personality, likes and dislikes. You should also find out about bad dates to ensure you avoid any mistakes previous men have made, like not paying for the 1st date! Women are more complex than us men as we all know but there not impossible to work out just takes some time.

Our goal is simple, get you to match girls on tinder, have great online conversations which lead to phone calls and then dates! That’s it. Please feel free to bookmark this page and visit it every so often to refresh your memory!


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